Motivation.

I need to be motivated.

It's not easy right now though because I have this empty feeling inside.

Mental baggage building up to form a big hole of unmotivation.

I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to go anywhere.

On the other hand.

I want to do so much. I want to talk to my friends. I want to go everywhere but here.

So what do I do?

Bitch and whine to myself because I don't think anyone else wants to hear it.

Sit at home and feel sorry for myself because no one else will.

Trying to explain myself to people just makes me realize how stupid I sound and I just feel too complicated. If I'm too complicated for myself how can any one else understand me?

Ah. That's it?

If I was simple life would be simple. I would have more friends because I would be simpler to understand. And I would be happy thinking the world was simple.

Saying how I feel to people, would that be simple? Simpler than now when I pretend to not care?

Pushing my emotions in their face instead of just letting them be and make their own choises based on their own emotions uninfluenced by me?

I think about it alot.

What's best? Holding your feelings in untill you burst and cry alone or risk bothering someone else with them?

I know, everyone says "You should talk about it. Talk to someone."

If the person got payed to listen to me whine I wouldn't have a problem. It would be their job. Something they chose. If it's a friend they don't have a choice.

Ok, this has nothing to do with motivation. I just need to rant a bit sometimes. ^^;