Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I should just stop talking to people.

I'll just make people hate me sooner or later.

Nobody wants honesty even if they say thay do.
Nobody want to hear someone elses opinion.

People only want you to tell them what they want to hear.
And then sometimes they don't want you to tell them that either.

I'm just confused.

It all comes down to that I have this bad habit of caring about people who don't give a shit about me.

It dissapoints me so when people act like spoiled little children.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Birthday!

OMG I can't believe I'm so old! lol

Well, I had a great week and now I just gotta look forward to the rest of my life.


So, happy 30th birthday to me!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

It's that time of the year again.

I hate that I have to decide when to have my summer vacation now.
Last year I didn't go to Japan because I just could't get in thouch with anyone in time to plan.
If I want to go this year, I know I have to go alone again. If my friends in Japan don't have time to hang out with me when I'm there it'll suck, like last time.

There's another possibility I was hoping for but now it seems like it's not going to happen.
I would have been happy staying home if there was someone here that wanted to be with me.

I don't need to go to Japan but if I don't have anything else to do I want to go.

I want to go to Japan in August, like I always do. June and July is the rainy season so that's not so fun.
August is hot and it's still summer. August has obon and matsuri.
September is ok too but it gets colder then and the summer fun is over.
Maybe a stay at a nice onsen ryoukan could be fun though. I've never been to one.

Anyway, I have to save up alot of money so I can't really go sooner than August.
Depending on how much money I have, maybe I could stay up to seven weeks.
But that's only if I have some friends to keep me company.

Today I was looking for information about becoming an english teacher in Japan but I found out I need a university degree to get a visa for work in Japan so I'd have to go to university here first.
I can't really find anything I want to study though and I'm starting to feel like it's almost too late now.
Can't really feel motivated but somehow I need to.

Why do I always feel more motivated to help other people but not to help myself?!

Sometimes I feel like I have wasted the best years of my life working at a job I don't like and not getting anywhere. I could have studied, met more people, travelled more and had more fun.
Now I'm 30, I have RA, no edjucation, no boyfriend and no freedom.

How can I turn this around?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Forever or never

It's all or nothing now. If it doesn't work out I'll drive it into the ground. I'll destroy it completely and leave no doubts. No ifs, buts or hows.
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Saturday, January 15, 2011

In this new year...

There are some things I want to hold on to from the last year and some things I want to let go.

I'll probably never lose hope in some things no matter how realistic I am, I still dream alot.

I'm ready for what comes my way so bring it on!